Eid Mubarak

Well it's a bit confusing here as to when Eid is, they say it's today, but they weren't fasting yesterday. Anyway as our friends were celebrating it on Saturday in Coventry, we had a chicken biriani here yesterday in honour of Eid - nothing like as delicious as Sarah's biriani but good none the less. It seems strange and a little sad not to be able to go to see our friends for Eid but we're thinking of you anyway. Lots of love and Eid Mubarak- Heather

A row and some progress for Diwali!

We're just all sitting in an internet cafe as the last of four hours we decided to spend together letting each of us in turn be in charge. Today, R & M decided, we would choose things that we wanted to do individually and the others were to cooperate and hang out with us - tomorrow or the next day we'll each have an hour to lead all of us to all have a good time one way or another.

This came about after a big row this morning. I think Heather and I had both decided not to back down on having some things right, and although we tried to keep thinking, it was a bit messy - some shouting and H and I both stormed off at different points.

In the end, sitting in a cafe for breakfast we agreed to keep talking till we'd sorted things out without any storming out; that we would carry on till we were finished, even if we had to stop and start again tomorrow; that we wouldn't interrupt each other, and that we should all talk for about the same amount of time. I mentioned things I thought were bothering people: should we go home sooner? was there anything to get up for in the morning? were we wasting the opportunities of this whole trip?

Rosa kicked off, then Melissa: it worked ten times better than I'd hoped - R & M were clear they didn't want to go home (which reassures me & H!); we talked about how we couldn't get away from each other and although that was part of the point of the trip we would have to treat each other well for it to work well; people talked a bit about things they wanted to do or not to do; we talked about getting a balance between challenging ourselves and each other and treating each other and ourselves kindly; etc. R & M came up with the four hours today, four hours tomorrow thing - Rosa says we have to review the situation (in the same way, I guess) tomorrow, too. By the end we all looked like we liked each other again, and were keen to get on with our four hour-long experiments.

So today's plan was for us each to have the others back us up to do something we individually wanted to do for an hour. Next time we'll take an hour each to get us all doing something we think everyone will like and/or learn from. This hour is Rosa's - she's taken us to the flashiest Internet joint in town, where we've patiently waited to be signed up and connected: now she wants to be not bothered by us while she MSNs her mates, so I'm writing this and checking in with her every few minutes. Melissa went first, and we spent an hour going round the shops looking at game-boy games (25 quid for 235 games on one cartridge, including Mario and Pokemon and all sorts of good things) and clothes. Then, after lunch (50p each for more veggie thali than even I could possibly eat), we went off to the beautiful Lal Bagh botanical gardens in an autorickshaw for my hour - I dithered for a bit and decided that what I most wanted to do there was teach a Re-evaluation Counselling class.

The girls have been interested in learning a bit more RC for a while,and I've made some abortive attempts to teach them, or get them into someone else's class, none of which have really worked out (I haven't enjoyed teaching RC for quite a few years now). This was very good though - I was more relaxed, flexible and unhurried than I often have been; the beautiful surroundings were really nice; Heather was there, and on my side, and I could tell; but most importantly we were doing this as the-time-in-which-Mark-does-what-he-wants-to, instead of me trying to set up some perfect RC class for the girls and giving myself a hard time about the inevitable failure of this! We did a little theory, with visual aids, some appreciations of ourselves and each other, and some short two-way counselling sessions: it was fun. Then H took her hour hanging out in the gardens, watching green parrots, chipmunks and other amazing creatures, and strolling among the huge variety of trees (my favourite: the "sausage tree").

It's been a great day: a welcome change from the "path of least resistance" Heather talked about in a recent post; and very little bickering, moaning, or parental grumpiness or bossiness. Will we keep it up? Watch this space!

- Mark

Thoughts from Bangalore

Bangalore is a really 'modern' city - i.e. all of the trappings of Western capitalism that we are trying to get away from but are so addicted to. Just spent a very pleasant evening strolling around the Divali crowds with fireworks exploding everywhere with the children. We ate pizza, pepsi, popcorn, went into music shops and clothes shops, Melissa bought a new game for her gameboy (only 5 pounds for a new one - bargain!) and generally mingled with the well heeled of Bangalore - we could have been in Birmingham! Except of course that we had to avert our eyes from the beggars - children, mothers and babies, old people and disabled people - we've got quite good at it. We even feel used to it enough to give out the occasional rupee just like the well to do Indians do. We can buy Mars bars, bounties, pizza hut, KFC, Nike, reebok etc if we so chose. After shopping we are ending the evening with a couple of hours in the internet cafe, responding to emails, blogging and MSNing friends back home

It's all very nice but it occurred to me today - very acutely - that maybe we are missing something. I don't begrudge us a few days of comfort and of being tourists purely and simply but it was never my intension to go on a ten month holiday. It's hard when there are four people involved - all with very different ideas of what they want and what they feel that they want but decisions have to be made daily about what we will do and where we will go. Sometimes I think we take the line of least resistance - making sure that we all at least don't hate the idea of what we have planned. Occasionally we are able to split up a bit and do different things but many compromises have to be made by all.

Well I'll continue to ponder the question of how to make our trip meaningful, memorable and still stay fun - any suggestions? Temples and general sightseeing don't do much for many of us. The best bits for me have been making friends with different people and that's hard when you are moving a lot. Today we were debating what to do with our next 10 days before we have to be in Goa to meet Sati - I decided that I would like to get there soon and establish a base and start to get to know people and the place. Mark is really keen to go to Hampi - which does sound amazing and wonderful, but I'm not sure I have the stomach for more traveling just now - two more overnight trains to get there and back with our huge amount of luggage - groan. The children are undecided - watch this space for what we decide....

p.s Mark has been reading over my shoulder and trying to correct my spellings - which have never been my strong point, I've resisted most of his "helpful suggestions" so sorry if it's distracting for you!

- Heather

Lots better in Bangalore

Well my little moan worked a treat and lots of you emailed me - thanks, it was great and i will try to reply to all - though it might take some time. The antibiotics and/or the ayuvedic medicine worked a treat and I have made a miraculous recovery, Rosa and Melissa are also well so its back to full functioning although a little tired after our overnight train journey here. I really love travelling on the overnight trains, its exciting and fun, also we don't have to pay for a night's accomodation - which is great when we are counting the pennies! Last night the train was packed though with families travelling home for Diwali and Eid - first time that we've travelled with so many small children and women. We shared a compartment with a mother, grandmother and 2 year old twins (so cute) and a baby in the next compartment kept me and Mark awake for quite a few hours crying in the night - I didn't mind though as it was nice to be around small children.

We arrived in Bangalore having booked a hotel on the phone from the Lonely Planet - when we got there it was very smelly and horrible so then we had a long and difficult job of locating a suitable hotel. It's definately much more expensive here than in the other places we've been (except Mumbai) and it was hard to find somewhere we liked in our price bracket. Finally we got a nice double room and managed to squeeze two extra beds into it for just above our daily allowance - let's see how long we can bear being so confined together in such a small space! We then had a fantastic lunch in the ajoining restaurant and it was lovely to eat real food again rather than rice and yogurt and bananas - which was all that I was allowed yesterday. We then took a rest and went to Baristas - the coffee bar chain that we discovered in Mumbai - had my first coffee for ages and a sickly chocolate cake - and guess what? I didn't like it! So won't be doing that again - hooray.

We haven't posted anything about Periyar, the houseboat or Munnar as I want Mark to put up the photos at the same time - they speak louder than words. However just to say that we did see wild elephant, monkeys, amazing birds, otters (who were so funny and great to watch), antelopes, wild pigs and langaars (monkey type things). There were the normal Indian monkeys around and one stole my food from under my nose - so fast we couldn't believe it - it swung down from the tree, dashed across the table, swipped my parotta and swung back into the tree before the monkey guard (with stick) could get there - me and Rosa were gob smacked and very amused, the Indians were very amused at our amusement. Anyway we have some great pictures of playing baby monkeys - so watch out for them!

I'm trying to encourage one of the others to write a blog so it's not just Heather's tour of the world, but they prefer to MSN their friends (Rosa and Melissa) and read the news (Mark)

Cochi was also an amazing place very inadequately explored by us because of sickness. Fort Cochin, where our hotel was seemed very unlike India - I think it has a lot of Portuguese influence and was entirely made over to the tourist trade - if we'd stayed longer we would have moved into the proper Indian bit - still it was nice to be there in our weakened state as I was able to see a doctor who was used to dealing with foreigners, phone and internet and buy books! Finally got an Indian bird book - which is great, now I can bore you with the names of the birds we see! Mark and Melissa went off to visit the synagogue (250 years old) which serves the now tiny Jewish community that have been there since the diaspora and used to have its own principality, they also went to the palace - hope they write about them later

That's enough for now, must try to reply to some emails and then go off and look at Diwali lights - Happy Diwali to you all

- Heather

A few Kochi photos

Kochi (Cochin) is interesting enough, but Fort Kochi (where we stayed) was a bit too much of a tourist town for me. It was great to have such easy access to good bookshops, Mars Bars and fast internet connections - but I think we'd have moved over into Ernakulam proper if we'd stayed longer, just to be back in India again! On the other hand, this might be coloured by Heather still being poorly here, of course; and the pretty bits in the guidebook were indeed pretty.

 

 

 

- Mark

Hi all

Posted from an email H wrote - sorry if you've already read it!

After a whole week not being able to access my gmail account I was looking forward to lots of lovely messages but what did I get? 6 only and 2 of them were from Mark and 3 from JK (thanks to Syam for the other one and JK of course).

I have been ill for a few days and just went and succumbed to antibiotics today - fed up of missing all of the fantastic sights that this country has to offer. Cochin seems great but we are leaving today and probably won't have time/energy to see too much of it - emailing is about all I'm up to at the momnet. Poor Rosa is not even up to that - she is lying in the hotel with a heavy cold/flu, after having a course of antibiotics for an ear infection. Melissa also has diarherra on and off. Altogether we are a motley crew but I still don't want to be anywhere else but here! Although it is nice to hear from my friends at home as I do miss people.

Hopefully once we get to Bangalore Mark will be able to blog some of the millions of photos that we took on our journey over the mountains and through the backwaters. [meanwhile, look here for some of our (unedited) photos that Paul Campbell put up on his web site] The views were specatular and the wildlife thrilling (Vicky I wish I knew what the birds were!) There are loads of water birds including cranes, herons, loads of kingfishers. But there are lots of other little birds with bright colours and tufts on their heads etc.

One good thing about India when you're sick is that the TVs in the hotels have Discovery Channel, National Geographic and Animal Planet so you can always find an interesting wildlife program to watch - and believe me I've seen a few over the last week!

Anyway hope you are all ok and as happy as I am (but hopefully less sick). Please drop me a line if you have time - it really makes my day and I'll try to reply (and I know I haven't replied to all of them - sorry)

lots of love

- Heather

From Periyar to Munnar

Munnar's a scruffy town over 1800m up in the Western Ghats, with a Tamil majority, many of whom work on the Tata Tea estates all around. Other than the chance to use my one word of Tamil (nandri, "thankyou"), and some great cheap street food in the evenings, Munnar generally offers two things: fresh cool air and beautiful countryside just a short walk away in any direction. We were all a little under the weather here (though I was healthiest), and so missed the fine opportunity for stout walks in great scenery: but we saw lots on the drive in from Periyar, and out towards Kochi.

- Mark

Performing arts in India and China

Munnar had one extra compensation for me: a touring Indian Circus! In Beijing in October we all saw the Acrobats, and Melissa and I saw an evening of Opera-style acts at a tea-house, although Rosa and Mo's hoped-for reviews never appeared here.

Flashback to Beijing Opera and Acrobats

The Acrobats were very impressive and spectacular, and there were a number of ideas to be pinched for future Coventry Community Circus productions also ...

 

 

We'd hoped to see a whole short Opera, and the revue of Opera-related oddments we saw wasn't the same, but it certainly had its moments, and the unlimited green tea and lots of little interesting snacks in with the ticket price was an unexpected bonus. And the conjuror had a great line of tricks with live fish, too.

 

 

An Indian Touring Circus

The Shakti Girnar Circus was a whole different class of spectacle. Touring circus does not make people rich quickly in the UK, but at least most performers can afford to re-paint their props occasionally.

 

 

The poverty really struck home for me: nonetheless, the circus family or families were very friendly, and keen for me to take lots of photos and post them on to them.

 

 

Once the show started, however, it was clear that the young women performers were not having such a good time. Their costumes weren't particularly revealing by Western standards, but in Kerala they looked like they felt very humiliated by them. They were also the most skilled members of the troupe, despite most of the photos below being of blokes: I decided not to photograph most of the contortionist, trapeze and hoop-spinning acts, for example, as the women did not look like they would enjoy some gora firing off his flash at them in their frilly swimsuits.

  

 

As well as some highly skilled young women, and very lovable clowns, the circus also had the best goat-tightrope-walk finale I've seen in a long time.

  

 

- Mark

In Munnar

Just a quickie to let you all know we are still alive and well - well not exactly well - Melissa has just got over a bad stomach, I'm still suffering from it and Rosa has a heavy cold! We have been travelling for 5 days and its really hard work with us all being ill - such a shame too as we have been in some amazingly beautiful places. Internet very slow here and impossible to get into my gmail so blogging instead. Once we reach Bangalore, we'll be able to update you all on our adventures - be there on Thursday I think in time for Diwali. Lots of love to all

- Heather

Abraham's Spice Garden

While we were staying in Thekkady, near Periyar, Melissa and Mark took a great tour of a spice garden - now we know what lots of things look like as well as taste like.